Pretending to be handicapped or retarded to solicit undeserved sympathy.

Made famous by David Cross on an episode of Just Shoot Me.

When you take a sip of a drink and it goes down the wrong way, causing excessive coughing and the inability to speak. Often happens to Donna (referred to jokingly as “Donny” by her sons), usually when drinking water, which is who the term was coined after.

Being such a sore loser you would shit on your own hand and shake hands with them to spite them.