A Private Pooper is someone who claims to never shit, and is never seen going to the bathroom and taking the long time needed for a shit.

One theory is that the Private Pooper's wait until a late time, preferably around 3 in the morning when everyone in the general vicinity is sleeping, so they can poop without being caught.

Many of these Private Pooper's have drawn speculations by saying that they're brushing their teeth, and that's why they are taking so long in the bathroom.

Experts say they leave the faucet running during their said "teeth brushing" so that no one will hear the kerplunk into the toilet from the poop.

Many have said to have caught Private Pooper's in the act, but weren't able to supply legitimate evidence.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods