Having to prioritise what you do and shit when you realise you're up the duff for the second time in 2 years and DOH! doesn't quite cut it.

The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."

A very rare creature, a pregmatic woman is pregnant, however she can plan the birth of her baby and beyond from a practical perspective, rather than the usual hormonal emotional turmoil.

A woman who is constantly knocked up.