Me- I was talking to Rick the other day and he said he was going home to "pork" his wife.
Lew- Ha! what did you say to that?
Me- I asked him if he was Rusty from "European Vacation"
Lew- He's so porntiquated..

Tim: Zack, is that your exgirlfriend?
Zack: No, she's an expotential. We never actually dated...