Similar to the upper decker but requires much more skill, balance, and dexterity. It also requires a lot more clean up. The toilet used for this act requires a seat AND a lid to create the full effect. The act of defecating on the lip or edge of the toilet bowl, then after log is carefully laid, gently close the seat and lay another log on the seat directly above the first one. Once that is accomplished, gently close the lid and create a multi layered turd sandwich otherwise known as the Porcelain Club.

The two states of being are as a human being, or a hungry ghost. Semi-regularly you need to ask yourself which you are. Sometimes it is human. Others, alas, it is hungry ghost.

The hungry ghost seeks validity outside of themselves. Someone pining for an indifferent ex is a hungry ghost. Someone who arrives alone at 6:30 on Saturday night to a pub is probably a hungry ghost. Obsessive checking of mobile phones, chat sites or networks are clear signs that one is a hungry ghost.

The best thing to do is just stay home and ride it out. Read a book. Find some good clean fun.