After the burrito I ate ended up violently evacuating out of my ass and into the toilet, I glanced over in horror to learn that there is no toilet paper left in the bathroom. Begrugingly, and believing nobody else to be awake at this hour, I decided to Poop Hop my way out of the bathroom, through the kitchen, and into the garage where a bale of toilet paper rolls lay. Having retrieved some without anybody seeing me and with minimum smearage, I began the return trip. I poop hopped all the way to the bathroom door, only to find my father-in-law inside brushing his teeth. Our eyes met, my pants around my ankles and my penis recoiling. We never made eye contact again.

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak