Kyle awoke one day with the aroma of bacon residing in his nostril. He immediately arose from his slumber and with haste began his jaunt to the kitchen. With hop, skip and a jump kyle raced down the stairs and made headway to source of the scent of bacon. Turning into the kitchen Kyle's face was met with a blow. After wiping away filling and a tear Kyle saw the face of his attacker. It was a morbidly obese woman ranging from 124 kilograms to 136 kilograms. Kyle realized he had just been Plumperberry pied.............and there was no bacon

I've been jabbed