Someone who wasted the money their parents paid to get them through college.

The worst kind of person. The person that doesn't do anything, but just thinks about things.

One who says lines of the syntax:
"As a famous philosopher once said..."
A Spanish phrase is often included in after the introduction.

A person who thinks philosophy is a real job. A person who thinks about senseless things, then tries to convince everyone that he is right.

The academic equivalent of a guru.

A guru scams you by feeding you metaphysical horse crap and all he wants in exchange is for you to give up all of your worldy possessions and follow him but since you'll be giving up all of your worldy possessions,why not sell them and give the proceeds to the guru?

Whereas a philosopher is pretty much in the exact same business except the scam is to sell books.

Someone who makes a living out of thinking. What they essentially do is create "constructs" and boundaries for what can and cannot be thought or what is or what is not acceptable behaviour.

Their job is to make a construct that is acceptable to the largest number of people so that we don't go nuts killing each other.

That's the BEST they can do. And usually they suck at it because there's always a good deal of people smart enough not to fall for that bullshit.

It's arguable that if there were no philosophers to conjure up bullshit "social contracts," we'd all learn to get along fairly peacefully anyhow. In reality no rules for life do exist and we all get along pretty fucking well.

So essentially they are a bunch of (usually old) wankers blowing wind up each other's asses.

A study of though of which there are 2 Arch Types,

Realist Philosophers: Asks not why, but how

Bull****er philosopher: Spends all day asking.....whyyyyyyy?

There may exist a counter balance of the 2 but these findings are inconclusive.