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Here are some popular synonyms of 'penis' used in the US
(from condom slogans):
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!
Your penis can't think - your brain should do it.
by alvit June 30, 2009
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24
A)The envy of all men!
B)The only reason women keep us around.
C)The reason we wake up with black eyes, and are sitting in county jail.
D)The reason I never got my homework done.
A)"Damn my penis is large, maybe I should go buy a Ferrari."
B)"Damn your penis is large...(I've never really heard this, so I dont know what comes next)."
C)"Damn my penis is large, maybe I should get too drunk and fight."
D)"Damn my penis is large, maybe I should not do my homework because my penis will definitely get me a good job when I'm older...right?"
by TheSheriff June 17, 2004
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25
the best friend in the world, it never leaves you, and it can never cock-block you cause you guys are a team
sally: i love you jimmy, your my bestest penis ever!
sally's boyfriend: sally, baby, you need to stop talking directly to my penis, im here too.
sally: shhhhhhhhh! jimmy and i are talking cant you see that!
by bob fakename jr. IX September 27, 2005
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26
If you're a man- it's that thing between your legs. If you're a woman, it's that thing that should be between your legs.

1. Wanger
2. Love Length
3. Schlong
4. Boomhound
5. Vainy Love Tree
etc
Shake another hot white coconut from the vainy love tree
stop hitting me with your wanger
is that a boomhound or a bus?
by Juicy ripe melons April 07, 2005
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27
Hi, I'm a guy and I have motivation and drive because of my penis.
Jeez, he's president of his company and making $110,000 a year? He must have sooome penis.
Wow, check out the penis on that guy.
by jeffro February 25, 2003
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