Me: I have a pelvis
Abraham Lincoln: Ye verily

"My boyfriend has a total case of brain worms. He told me the cat was bugged so the Feds could listen in on us having sex..."

or

"You totally stumbled over that entire sentence. Can't speak English all of a sudden? What, do you have brain worms?"

Pelvis Pinocchio was a powerful being. He was the god of many children (including the ones in his basement). He used his power to command an army of nine-year-olds to murder his arch-nemesis; Nutsack Ned. Nutsack Ned was his main competitor for the lord of the testicles title. Pelvis Pinocchio and Nutsack Ned met back in “their day”(they’re boomers😤). They competed in normal things such as ‘how many children can you abduct in one night?’ and ‘how many credit card numbers💳 can you get from 7-year-olds in exactly 69 minutes?’ But then, it got more serious. Their rivalry was over REAL MINECRAFT FORTNITE V-BUCK DIAMONDS. This is when they went from friends to bitter enemies. Pelvis Pinocchio was the first to make a Chris and Ms.Henderson fan fiction, but he didn’t have the popularity yet, and Nutsack Ned STOLE the idea and made that bling bling🤑 off of it. Pelvis Pinocchio was done with being oppressed by the upper class, so he pulled a funny fortnite dance🕺 and blew up Nutsack Ned’s house. But Nutsack Ned wouldn’t go out without a fight😤 and murdered Pelvis Pinocchio’s father. When their story was in the news, a rivalry as bad as Logan Paul vs Jake Paul began. They went back and forth until Pelvis Pinocchio just decided to get an atomic bomb and end it all.