Owen Benjamin of America, shepherd of goats, king of bears, slayer of wizards, breaker of spells. In Owens free time you may find him playing the piano or trying to get Red Pill Rooster out of the Blackberry bush, but most of the time you will find him with his family.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.

A failed comedian who lives in the woods shouting at the moon and blaming all his failures on jews. his devoted cult call themselves "the bears". these are angry little men who are mad the world for their own failures, just like owen. Owen also drinks turpentine and beats his wife.