A best friend to many and a true love to an especially lucky girl. He cares so very much and his love is best described as perfection every breathing second it is given. A Jared is funny to all and just as kind. If you cross paths with my Jared... Know that he is mine. And I wouldn't change it for the world.
The love of my life can be none other than Jared.
by BryLoves December 18, 2016
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Beast Of All Trades, Always Copied Never Duplicated! Worth Weight In Gold!, Hes Their When You Need Him, And Still Their When You Dont,
by MooseMan420 June 05, 2011
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A reluctant sword smith, women tend to trip over their tongues as he passes by. usually reviled by other males for having mythical penis girth. Usually compared to god like figures such as Zeus and Thor.
one of the greatest Jared's was delivered to planet earth in 1975 via non earth like space craft - is also allergic to Kryptonite.
probably the best all round rooter in the solar system, women have been known to gush uncontrollably and pass out at the mere sight of his powerful index and middle fingers - so he wears ski gloves in public - or hand prosthesis.
Once pointed at chuck Norris and Barry Dawson in a pub and told them to leave, Barry ran, Chuck fell to his knees and orgasmed uncontrollably - he wasn't wearing any gloves that day.
Everyone should nickname their penis Jared.
one of the greatest Jared's was delivered to planet earth in 1975 via non earth like space craft - is also allergic to Kryptonite.
probably the best all round rooter in the solar system, women have been known to gush uncontrollably and pass out at the mere sight of his powerful index and middle fingers - so he wears ski gloves in public - or hand prosthesis.
Once pointed at chuck Norris and Barry Dawson in a pub and told them to leave, Barry ran, Chuck fell to his knees and orgasmed uncontrollably - he wasn't wearing any gloves that day.
Everyone should nickname their penis Jared.
Fuck! I thought he was at the fortress of solitude! I better leave town, I heard he wants to fuck my wife and sister!
"Jared" I thought HE was the god of thunder, maybe he's Thor's Grandfather?
"Jared" I thought HE was the god of thunder, maybe he's Thor's Grandfather?
by Rooster 00027 May 28, 2011
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An amazing guy. He will go out of his way to make you laugh and he has gorgeous blonde hair. His beautiful green eyes can see all the way into my soul. He is so playful and kind, if you ever meet him, lucky you.
by GreenFour2000 December 29, 2013
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Below you will find when to say "No Jareds" and what it means when you use them.
1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.
2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.
3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.
4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.
2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.
3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.
4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
Definition #1:
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!
Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...
Definition #3:
Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!
Definition #4:
Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!
Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...
Definition #3:
Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!
Definition #4:
Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
by Complete Truth December 02, 2009
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