Fever* or feeling feverish/chills.
Cough.
Sore throat.
Runny or stuffy nose.
Muscle or body aches.
Headaches.
Fatigue (tiredness)
Some people may have vomiting and diarrhea, though this is more common in children than adults.

While sometimes described as "New York Flu Like Symptoms" it's also described as:

Derby Drudge
Hong Kong Cough
San Fran Scam
Natomas Nap
Ventura Dysteria

Vaginal Myalgia

All of these conditions have one thing in common. Proximity to John "Youngie" Young.

AKA: Midget porn expert
Tax avoidance expert
Analogies disguised as metaphors expert

Chainsaw repair expert
Train spotting expert (not the kettles, he doesn't "Fancy" those)
Navy Seal Expert
Derby Tourist Guide (gay bar) expert
etc, etc, etc,

While English, he speaks like a yank and has lost his accent. Soft as grease, a public school boy.

Sits too far back on his seat, can't get his knee down, doesn't warm his tires (tyres), buys crap tires, worlds best absentee Dad.

Stay away, his chronic vaginal myalgia (pain of his lady parts) will fill you with dread, wearing you down until you feel like you were hit by a subway.

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.