When an old man gives you a facial.

The most disgust pedostache of all time. Used to scare away girls. Especially underaged.

The theory that the shorter the first name the greater the likelihood that person has a mustache. Only holds true for White Males that live in the United States.

Theory in mathematical terms:
Name<= 4 letters = Mustache
Name>= 5 letters = No Mustache

Freshly Shaven Mustache above penis shaft

The act of humiliating someone so hard that there is an illusion of a penis on the victim's upper lip. Then the assailant connects all of one's fingers to their thumb and shakes it in an italian mob style with both hands. In a quite fast gesture, the assailant forms the Italian mob style hands to their upper lip and parts the invisible "meat mustache." After the process is done, the assailant must yell, MEAT MUSTACHE.

The most hallowed of traditions of the employees of Great Lakes Airlines. Every March, all employees must grow a mustache for the duration of the month. The last day of February is the last day that the upper lip can be shaved. Then, during the last week of the month, the annual Mustache Bash is held and awards for various follicle cultivation achievements are distributed. Roots of this tradition are hazy, but most attribute it to a pollock captain and El Capitan