Kyle: Hmm, there's a show called Mr. Meaty on next, I'll check it out
*2 hours later*
Kyle's Brother: Kyle!? Are you okay!?
Kyle: *rocking back and forth in the fetal position with a look of horror on his face*

After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.

All God's creatures, fresh off the grill. So come on down to Mr. Meaty, where friends meet to eat meat!

Mr. Meaty man, you can't trust him
That guy is crazy at parties, totally a mr. meaty

Mr. Meaty is fucking full of guano.