The ancient, lost Book of the Stupid. Written and given over to humanity by He-Who-Is-Unutterably-Dense. The tome was bound in the skins of ancient bananas. Legend tells us that only the greatest idiots may open its covers without losing every iota of intellect they ever bore. The mind of any other will be blasted to drivel. Fortunately, this leaves most of planet Earth's current inhabitants perfectly safe.

The Moronicon may be opened by the utterance of three magic words, spoken in any order, but these words are so stupid that the author has given you the benefit of the doubt and spared your intellect (as it were).

Noun: a friend who is usually only called upon by a friend when a more primary/prominent friend is unavailable.

Taken from the term “second string” in an athletic competition situation. In football, if the star quarterback gets injured during a play, the second string is called off the bench to replace him/her. A “Second String Friend” is essentially benched until needed, if ever.

Synonyms: Plan B, Second Choice, Secondary Friend, Benched Until Needed

Worse than just being a moron, it's more like being a moron & a convict, thus being a moronicon. Perhaps it's a moron convicted of committing a really stupid crime, like robbing a bank while naked.