We sure do love Missouri. Thing is though, we've never left. Everything youd ever need is right here in our big ole' state. On family vacations, we go to branson. When we need a drug fix, we just go next door and get our daily dose of methamphetamine from buck. he sure knows how to cook it. we have 13 kids and one on the way. aged from 3 months to 30 years old, all with different last names...here we go: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, the twins: tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene. we sure do love our childs, and we have 86 grandchilds. our doublewide is chocked full of people. we also have 19 dogs, 36 cats, and two fish. we also have a new goat. if you ever want to see somewhere beautiful, you should see the sun set over our pot field. its wonderfully romantic (thats where 11 of our children were conceived). need a vacation? y'all come see us now, y'hear?
We all wear matching shirts when we go to branson, missouri & we always have to take roll when we go to and from walmart and mcdonalds.
Jedidiah: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene?
Lou ann: here.
jed jr: sure thang.
Jed 3: huh?
ray: my nose is bleedin.
bobbi ray: daddy whatchu doin?
billy jean: you best shutup boy.
billy jo: im gonna hit you in the head if you dont quit it.
trixie: wheres my cigs daddy?
tammy ray: here.
tammy fay: present.
linda kay: who ate a quarter pound of my angus?
peggy sue: daddy, MY BABYS COMIN!
earlene: holy crap! that doesnt look like the movies,
peggy sue. that looks like an alien!
Jedidiah: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene?
Lou ann: here.
jed jr: sure thang.
Jed 3: huh?
ray: my nose is bleedin.
bobbi ray: daddy whatchu doin?
billy jean: you best shutup boy.
billy jo: im gonna hit you in the head if you dont quit it.
trixie: wheres my cigs daddy?
tammy ray: here.
tammy fay: present.
linda kay: who ate a quarter pound of my angus?
peggy sue: daddy, MY BABYS COMIN!
earlene: holy crap! that doesnt look like the movies,
peggy sue. that looks like an alien!
by Jed & Marva June 11, 2009
The "Quit Bitching" state. If you're tired of life wherever you are, move to Missouri for a year. (Don't hassle yourself with residency-- they give you a trailer when you enter the state.)
If you make it back out, your outlook on life wherever you are will be much brighter.
If you make it back out, your outlook on life wherever you are will be much brighter.
"Ugh, I hate Kansas! There's nothing to do here... I wish it were more like the OC!"
"I happen to like it here..."
"Ew, what's WRONG with you?"
"I was born in Missouri."
"...I'm so sorry."
"I happen to like it here..."
"Ew, what's WRONG with you?"
"I was born in Missouri."
"...I'm so sorry."
by Nurm August 24, 2008
by boylesque March 31, 2010
A 69,709 square mile trailer park with representation in Congress. A government land reservation for the mentally defective and socially inept. Conceptually similar to the portable classrooms outside of a high school where the "special needs" students are segregated from the students who have a fighting shot at success in life. Missouri is the twenty first largest state in the United States. According to the 2007 Census Bureau, Missouri is home to approximately six million people. Almost one thousand of these people are literate.
John: Did you hear that the EPA is going to give the Earth an enema?
Jane: No I didn't. Where will they stick the hose?
John: Columbia, Missouri.
Jane: No I didn't. Where will they stick the hose?
John: Columbia, Missouri.
by nat'lchampionof2008 February 23, 2009
What a joke. Should be pronounced "Misery". That describes the state well. I lived in STL for 10 "Missourable" years. Glad to be gone. all you rednecks and Rush Limbaugh lovers can have it.
by fungooliwabasa April 19, 2006
by qwertyuioppers October 2, 2022
Missouri is an interesting state. Basically the lower half is full of rednecks who belong to the south, and the north is full of completely civilized intelligent people. St. Louis being the most intelligent city. Here we have smart people. good food, good attractions, and fun times all around. The weather kind of sucks, but we all love it anyway. The stereotypes about the north are really kind of funny really, because they just depict us all as inbred, redneck, dumbasses.
Guy 1: Hey have you ever gone to Missouri?
Guy 2: No, isn't it full of rednecks?
Guy 1: Nope, only the south.
Guy 2: No, isn't it full of rednecks?
Guy 1: Nope, only the south.
by stlouisdweller July 19, 2011