The subtle act of walking into the woods, only to be gripped on the shoulders by leathery carpenter’s hands and sodomized with a floppy picklesque piece of birch and or maple.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.