A piece of shit. The worst person on the planet. Gets confused with the count from sesame street. Can't not handle his liquor. Punches holes in walls and breaks doors. Has no respect for women and is supposedly a "sex addict". Cares only for beer and food. ALCOHOLIC. Also has a chronic coughing problem. Disliked by many.

Some one who makes jokes soo horrible that you can't help but laugh at the joke and especially them.

A guy who has sex with anything with boobs

The act of cooking a frozen pizza in the oven without removing the carton box or the plastic.

a guy who used to be cool, but is now just sad and old. can't commit, lives like a frat boy, and denies both

when someone you care about or love disappears for weeks, months, years on end; then they make up lame excuses and cover ups for not contacting you with excuses such as:

I've been really busy.
I thought about contacting you, but with being gone so long, I figured I'd have to make some huge gesture to win you over.
I just didn't have time.

clearly, these excuses are moot; considering how EASY it is to send an e-mail, text message, myspace message, anything...technology makes it too easy folks...

you should stay away from these "mikes" as they are hazardous to your health

A boy that confuses every girl he talks to. Wants to be a player but not enough girls like him. Was in a serious relationship but now just want to "get with you". Is definitely not bad looking, tall, light brown short hair, athletic, but unfortunately has a very small penis. A Mike could maybe be a player if he was well-endowed and acted less awkward. Gives the appearance of being of average intelligence but is actually quite smart, just not with his sense of humor. Tends to ruin jokes or say things that aren't funny.