"300 years ago, sailors stuck at sea would get desperate for female companionship. It got so mad that eventually the manatees out in the water started to look like beautiful women - mermaids.

Every women, no matter how initially repugnant, has a "mermaid clock". The time it takes to realize you want to bone her. " ~ Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods