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The state capital of Victoria, Australia Melbourne is a dark, dirty, mangy shithole.

Demographic; moisturising, manscaping, sandal wearing metrosexual pseudo fags.
A town where a broke as fuck 30 year old uni student wearing a skivvy with sandals is held in higher esteem than an accomplished and successful tradesman,
Spiritual home of the Bogan,
A stinking filthy river flowing through the guts of it,
The people from there claim to be well educated, cultured and globally aware but all they seem to do is bitch and moan about others, narcissism reigns supreme.
In a nutshell the only two good things about Melbourne are Carlton Draught and the Hume Hwy northbound.
"Glad to get the fuck away from that shithole, the whole town is 'the secret life of us' and full of cunts that look like that little queer bloke in the YOUI insurance adds".

"Dont walk around in Melbourne alone at night, you'll get glassed by bogans or robbed by a junkie".
by turbodiesel March 24, 2010
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37
A city who thinks it's self above and beyond the rest of Australia.

A city so in love with its own rank smell that it needs to inform non victorians how great it is at every opportunity.
A city where people are either depressed or just insecure.

A town where aggression is the norm due to the high amount of grey dull days.

A city which is in denial about its jealousy of Sydney - take for example the history of the city. For decades the city was an architectural master piece, with grand victorian buildings and coffee palaces to rival paris. Melbourne people couldnt handle this and wanted to be like Sydney - so they knocked down all the was grand and replaced it with Sydneyesque planning. Dalring Habour>Southgate - King St Wharf and the development of Pyrmont>an empty and embarrassed cold docklands and the list goes on.
Melbourne people ALWAYS claim to not care about Sydney yet as soon as the word is mentioned they go on a 10 minute tirade about all that is wrong with Sydney.

The art is not unique and most of it comes from people who have moved to the city from various interstate cities. Melbourne also has claims to the greatest sport in the world Australian Rules. The odd thing about this claim is that the code is not even watched or cared about anywhere north of the Australia.
Sydney Person: wow Melbourne is great and charming - except for the weather..
Melbourne Person: How typical of you stuck up Sydney people always thinking your city is the best when all it is, is a sewer or a backwater filled with people who's only interest is money and house prices. You don't even follow the best game in the world and that's so typically sydney. So what if the habour bridge and opera house are revered internationally..that's all Sydney has going for it..unlike in Melbourne where we have lanes and coffee.
Sydney person: woah settle down i was praising the city!
Melbourne: heh we dont really care about Sydney its always the sydneysiders who start this silly debate
Sydney: woah amazing..
by Pedro1975 September 01, 2009
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40
Melbourne offers you all four seasons in under ten minutes.
Tourist: "this Melbourne weather is bullshit, I'm freezing my balls off."
Hobo: "don't worry mate, it changes every two minutes."
by Lisa the vagitarian May 11, 2016
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41
Really nice city in Victoria, Australia.

Better crime rates than Sydney(main reason why Sydney was rated lower in the most livable cities thing), much more fashionable and artsy too. They have great theatre in Melbourne.

From what I've seen Melbourne is a really great place to live in, very cool. Great market place...

Melbourne used to be considered as the most glitzy city in Australia but now more attention is puts toward Sydney.

You'd have to best city in the world if Sydney and Melbourne were combined (leaving each of the ugly attributes out)

Melbournians have every right to be proud of their city, but they should stoop to Sydneysiders level. I think too many Sydneysiders suffer from acute tall poppy syndrome. (I'm not one of them)

Melbourne- always up to the tradition of the Sydney Vs Melbourune rivalry.

-underrated city that should gets as much attention as Sydney is getting.

-should do something about the scary tram system. (and the non existant tram station things)
"OMG... I'm going to Melbourne again -yay!"

"You're obsessed... "

"Melbourne is a hundred times better than Sydney..."

"Hmm..."

"It is! Sydney people are so up themselves - they think they're better than everyone else..."

"You live in Sydney, you know."

"I know... "

"Stop complaining then, move!"

"No! I still want to live here!"

"Pff! you're pathetic."
by Nasi July 14, 2004
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42
one of the best cities ever
where else do you get a day off to watch a bunch of horses run?
most common question in melbourne in november:
what horse are you tipping?
are you going away for melbourne cup weekend?
by noneedtoknowme December 11, 2007
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