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The 1# scapegoat to America's obesity problem.
Guy 1# : I know why I'm fat, man.
Guy 2# : Oh yea, why?
Guy 1# : Because of that shitty McDonalds.
Guy 2# : Actually, you're fat because you have no self control, nor common sense. Did you really think that eating two Big Mac's each day for five years wouldn't affect your weight? They're greasy and salty. Have some common sense, you fat whiny asshole.
by GimmiK February 10, 2006
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9
A place people go to get fat.
You're too skinny. You better start eating at McDonalds.
by Frogbutt November 30, 2004
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10
McDonalds, we make your heart a more efficient machine by making it work TWICE AS HARD!
by xul8tr July 03, 2003
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11
A horrible place. They pay minimum wage for maximum labor. In fact, most of the work they put their employees through is just under illegal. People think they're dirty, but not really. The food is properly handled and the employees aren't poor (unless they're old .... the young kids are only there for "experience" or a paycheck ... I mean, I wear Louis Vuitton and Gucci and I'm only there to become a manager, so I can have bragging rights).

The food however is fattening. Recently, they switched the vats (the things they cook most of their food in), from like grease to vegetable oil or something. But that doesn't make much of a difference. They are really cheap with their food, one sqirt of ketchup/mustard, a pinch of fake onions that come in a package, and you have to add water to make them grow, and two pickles, AND ONLY two pickles to a cheeseburger. Everything is very methodical and orderly there, and working there sucks.

You have to serve fat pigs who look down your shirt, and whiney skinny whores who bitch about calories and our menu (don't eat there if you don't want to get fat, simple as that peeps). The seniors complain when the prices go up one cent, and they make rude comments, and they show up every single day at the same time (some people don't have lives I guess, they'd rather go to McDonald's every day).

At McDonald's you aren't allowed to talk back to customers, even though half the time they are completely wrong. No, there are no tomatoes or mustard on a Big Mac, so don't ask. No, we don't have such a thing as "A Used burger Meal". No, I don't need your five cent tip, it's only going to go to the poor Ronald McDonald's House charity anyways. I make 17$ an hour, keep your five cents. No, of course I didn't wash my hands before I served you (idiot, if we actually were unhygenic like that we'd get sued, we're running a resturant, not a science experiment). If we didn't get your order right, calm the fuck down, the sky is not falling, we'll gladly replace your burger if you shut up and act polite about it. If not, we don't have a problem making it wrong again, just to spite you.

We are allowed to tell you to shut up, leave the store, and walk to the next McDonald's. No I don't have to take your order, it is not against the law to tell you to fuck off and walk away from you. If you want to be an ass, walk behind the counter, figure out the till yourself, and make your own damn burger, because obviously we're not doing it fast enough for you ... or something like that. It is not a requirement for us to be polite to you, it's just something we do. In fact, our only job is to take your order and get you the fuck out of the resturant in three minutes or less, so our job is to be fast, not friendly.

So McDonald's in general is a horrible place to work, and a horrible place to eat. The customers always complain (says something about our service huh?) and we could quite frankly care less about your demands (says something about our attitude). It isn't a problem of the actual corperate McDonald's, they are just a bunch of executives who sit behind a desk all day, with no actual experience of what it is like to work at a McDonald's. They don't know how hard it is to fake a smile.

So the definition of McDonald's is a resturant run by people who've probably never eaten there, or worked there. It is corrupt, and the customers expect too much.
Customer: "Fucking McDonald's folk got my Big Mac wrong! I asked for no tomatoes!"
Employee: "Sir, there aren't any tomatoes in a Big Mac ...."
Customer: (Checks sandwhich ... no tomatoes) "Oh ...."

Employee: "Have a nice day!" *Thinking (I hope you get hit by a bus you disgusting, fat, rapist pig)

Employer: "Empty the grease bucket, and if you do that we might be able to pay you the minimum wage ..."

Crew Trainer: "ONLY two pickles to a sandwhich ..."

Customer: "I just want to tell you that your lobby is a mess .... you should clean up after me and my disgusting, and messy family who just left five tray fulls of half eaten sandwhiches and chewed up fries. My son peed in the slide in the playplace, my daughter spilled her coke all over an old lady and your floor, and my husband took a shit in the toilet and didn't flush ... don't worry, our house isn't this messy ...."

Order Taker: (Drive Thru) "Welcome to McDonald's what can I get for you?"
Customer: "Hold on a second ... Hello? Yeah I'm in the drive thru ... what do you want? No, Jimmy can't go to soccer, NO SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH. No, what do you want? Hurry up, there is a line forming behind me? No way, what? Are you serious? Get out of town? Seriously? Woah man, that's messed ... anyways, you want a Big Mac? Extra Pickles, no tomatoes? What does Karen want? WELL ASK HER! Okay, okay, alright bye."
*one second later
"HELLO? ARE YOU STILL THERE? IS MCDONALD'S CLOSED OR SOMETHING?"

Order Taker: "No ...."
Customer: "CAN I GET TEN BIG MACS EXTRA ONIONS, NO SORRY EXTRA PICKLES, NO TOMATOES! AND I CAME THROUGH HERE LAST YEAR AND THEY FUCKED UP MY ORDER, I DON'T HAVE THE RECIPT BUT CAN I GET MY TEN BIG MACS FOR FREE, THEY GOT IT WRONG LAST TIME I ASKED FOR NO TOMATOES!"
Order Taker: "Um, you don't have to yell sir."
Customer: "I'M NOT YELLING I JUST WANT YOU TO HEAR ME."
Order Taker: "I can hear you, ten Big Macs Extra Pickles."
Customer: "NO TOMATOES."
Order Taker: "There aren't any tomatoes on a Big Mac, anything else for you sir?"
Customer: "Nope. I'm good."
Order Taker: "That will be thirty eight dollars at the second window"
Customer: "THIRTY EIGHT FUCKING DOLLARS?"
Order Taker: "Ten Big Macs, $3.00 for a Big Mac, you do the math ...."
by j.e_louisvuittonwhore May 20, 2008
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12
A grease-covered fast-food place that resembles hell. 'I'm lovin' it' is their slogan, which would mean that the PRESIDENT of McDonald's is lovin' it (the money), not the customer who is spending the money for shit that has probably already been on the floor. Of course, they've already hympnotized all of today's kids to come and get a 'Happy Meal' with a 'toy' that came right out a a labor camp in China.
Get fat and eat crap should be their slogan.
by One (1) Crazy Idiot December 22, 2004
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13
Another fine American establishment that started fairly decent then took a sharp turn for the worse around the time Disney started to get involved.

There are multiple kinds of McDonald's people:

1. The Hater: The person who claims he or she hates McDonald's so much, yet you always manage to see old wrappers in their cars, houses, ect. but yet they still hate it.

2. The Salad But Not Really Person: This person walks into McDonalds assuming they are going to pick up a plate of cheap, E-Coli ridden foliage, yet they come out duel-wielding Big Mac's.

3. The Calorie Counter: Basically this is the one who asks for information on how many calories are in one chicken sandwich. These are the people that cause the prices to raise because they have to waste ink printing out their information that they obviously cannot see is already on the box...which is covered by grease.

4. The Complainer: If yelling kids playing in a jungle gym full of moldy food isn't enough, these people make the experience even worse. First they complain that there is nothing on the menu they want, then they complain their food is cold, then they are befuddled because they couldn't get the extra salt on their fries they wanted.

5. The Pig: This person goes in, orders 6 Big Mac's, 4 chicken sandwiches, 3 Diet Coke's, all for one person. This person finishes every last crumb to be in existence, and later goes home to find something else to consume.

6. The Locals: Essentially, the elderly. These people come to McDonald's, order coffee, perhaps eat some of those apple slices, all is good, except for when someone is sitting in their seat...

7. The Egotistical Employee Who Comes In On His Day Off: These people work for McDonald's, come in, start talking with their friends, while the rest of us wait while our food gets cold.

8. The Drive-Through Person: This person can never get out of their car or off their cell phones for more than 3 minutes, hence they order from the drive-through, leaving 60 people working at the drive-through yet there is one counter closed, while 2 more are resumed by trainees who can't figure out how to remove the 600 extra milkshakes they added.

McDonald's is one of those things you just accept or you don't, nothing else.
Person 1: Dude let's go to McDonald's!

Person 2: Sure. I could use a heart attack.
by Da Milkman April 24, 2009
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