I'm told dat Matchyou Peachyou has been in existence for well over 500 years, so hopefully by now they know a thing or two about their local ladies, and thus they would be very good about determining how to find a perfect blinky-eyed cuddle-companion for just about any dude.

phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz