1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."
by thewhorewhoisjerome August 02, 2007
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a way to stay faithfulto your girl.

you do it cause: youre horny/bored/to kill time/just because its a habit.
masturbation is a great way to relieve horniness or just cause youre bored.
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is not a crime!

one of the few things, thats fun but not a crime
'but sarge, that dirty old woman shouldn'y have been looking in the first place, besides, im sure its not her first experience of masturbation''
by tommy060289 July 14, 2006
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A way for men or women to deal with problems without getting up. terms for men include: jerk off, rub one out, beat off, wack ones turkey, and shoot clue goo. In a womens case it could be Fingering and flicking the bean around or use a dildo.
How to use masturbation in a conversation.

For a man, "hey steve, wanna play some B-Ball?"
"Nah im kinda tired, im gonna go home, put on the Tv, rub one out and take a nap.

women do not usually discuss this subject but if they did it would go a little something like this.
"hey jacky, want to go to the mall?"
"I think im going to go back to the car and flick my bean around."
"Im going to go home and check my myspace and punch my cat"
by Bobsaget,dannytanner January 06, 2008
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