1. Control freak. The Chargers have enough talent to knock out any team in the league, as long as their coach lets them throw the K.O. punch.
2. The ultimate conservative. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory is a simple task when the head coach is conservative enough to make Rush Limbaugh look like a leftist.
3. Play to not lose. Worries about not losing his teams six-point lead even after watching his team blow 4th-Qtr leads time and again in '05 and already in '06. Is not forceful in trying to make games a two-score affair.
4. Ex-San Diego Chargers Coach. Punches his own ticket out of town by continuing to lose in close games. Has never won the big game. Was never a favorite of the GM. See definition 7 below.
5. Addle-brained. Head Coach that reasons that odds are in your favor if you just hold on to the lead (no matter how small), play field position and let the Defense do the rest. Forgets that Defenses get tired at the end of the game and Offenses desperately attack more.
6. Groundburger. No one is expecting Martyball to transform into Air Coryell Version 2.0, but come on.
7. A stubborn German. Sticks to his guns - or should that be runs? If his gameplan doesn't work, at least he will have gone down his way; and took the team with him.

The American football strategy used by Mike Martz, relying on the seven-step drop and a terrible offensive line to smash Jay Cutler, rattling his brain and giving him superhuman powers. The "Martyball" employed by Schottenheimer will henceforth be known as Schottyball.