A hideous, excruciating, horrible disease that an unlucky 20% of smokers will contract in their lifetime. Inability to breathe, vomiting, and having to use a bedpan are symptoms in later stages

A disease that is easy to recover from, but tends to have lasting side effects. Some of the negative effects of TLC can include a painfully large inflation of the ego (which can be cured by large doses of humility). Also, TLC tends to cause allergies to losing. (which can result in anaphylaxis)

A disease affecting the anal lung canals, caused by someone sucking up to you too much

Guy 1: Dude! I'm dying...
Guy 2: I don't care unless it's of something major
Guy 1: Dude! Lung Asthma Cance- *GASP!!!!!*-r
Guy 2: Is that even a thing?
Guy 1: *Currently twitching on the floor* ;-;
Guy 2: Should I cal 911? Oh wait...

A machine that moves cigarettes:cigars from side to side of your moth while closing your nose as you never stop inhaling smoke. Form of execution.

Lunge cancer is the incapability to properly use linked swords and simply blaming the owner for having "trash swords" due to having no skill. Cry about it