Low fell is a north east town only 2 miles from Newcastle. It is home to one of the largest Jewish communities in Europe. Low fell is known for its night life, mainly burglary and muggings.
The house prices in low fell are extremely over priced (also see Whickham) and people who aren't familiar with the area get proper raped by the estate agents selling the properties based on the postcode alone. It's not uncommon to see some simpleton pay over £100,000 for a 2 bed flat in low fell. The poor simpleton will no doubt be burgled, stabbed or have his car burnt out within weeks of living there.
It is often referred to as the arsehole of the North.
It is said to be like Afghanistan but without the good weather.
There are 3 types of people who live in low fell.
1. Jewish people who have to live there due to the unfortunate location of their synagogue.
2. Idiots who have been conned by a postcode/ estate agent into buying a property in the bronx based on the distance from Newcastle.
3. The indigenous people of low fell. Lowlife scum with no morals. These people are mostly nocturnal, only seen in daylight when signing on at the job centre.
The indigenous people of low fell are have been unwilling to work for the last 4 generations, and it is often said that if one had a cut their skin wouldn't even graft.
The house prices in low fell are extremely over priced (also see Whickham) and people who aren't familiar with the area get proper raped by the estate agents selling the properties based on the postcode alone. It's not uncommon to see some simpleton pay over £100,000 for a 2 bed flat in low fell. The poor simpleton will no doubt be burgled, stabbed or have his car burnt out within weeks of living there.
It is often referred to as the arsehole of the North.
It is said to be like Afghanistan but without the good weather.
There are 3 types of people who live in low fell.
1. Jewish people who have to live there due to the unfortunate location of their synagogue.
2. Idiots who have been conned by a postcode/ estate agent into buying a property in the bronx based on the distance from Newcastle.
3. The indigenous people of low fell. Lowlife scum with no morals. These people are mostly nocturnal, only seen in daylight when signing on at the job centre.
The indigenous people of low fell are have been unwilling to work for the last 4 generations, and it is often said that if one had a cut their skin wouldn't even graft.
Wife '' shall we go out for dinner tonight a friend of mine said there was a nice restaurant in low fell.''
Husband '' this woman is not your friend. She wants you dead! We shall call the police to report your so called friend''
John '' I'm going to view a house in low fell the estate agent says it's a great price for a property only 2 miles from Newcastle.''
David '' your a fucking idiot mate, you'll be car jacked at the traffic lights. And if you yawn in low fell you'll have your fillings stolen.
Doorman low fell bar . '' excuse me gentlemen are you carrying any weapons this evening? If not you can borrow my knife''
Husband '' this woman is not your friend. She wants you dead! We shall call the police to report your so called friend''
John '' I'm going to view a house in low fell the estate agent says it's a great price for a property only 2 miles from Newcastle.''
David '' your a fucking idiot mate, you'll be car jacked at the traffic lights. And if you yawn in low fell you'll have your fillings stolen.
Doorman low fell bar . '' excuse me gentlemen are you carrying any weapons this evening? If not you can borrow my knife''
by Alan Shearer no9 February 4, 2019