Pit Bull: Have my children ready by 5.
Indigent divorcee: OK
Pit Bull's secretary @ 6:15: Mr. Bull is just concluding another hostile takeover; his ETA is now 6:30
Indigent divorcee: OK, but the kids are already famished. I will tide them over with some snacks.
Pit Bull finally shows @ 8:30: Bring me my children.
Indigent divorcee: I just tucked them in.... if you're quiet...
Pit Bull: YOU'RE REFUSING ME CONTACT WITH MY CHILDREN!! <kicks garbage can> I'M DOCUMENTING YOUR NONCOMPLIANCE & HAULING YOUR SORRY ASS BACK TO COURT!!
Indigent divorcee: That's legal harassment!
Pit Bull: So sue me. <grin>

Innocent children: Daddy! We waited all night for you!
Pit Bull: Mommy got a little confused again about the time...
Innocent children: Yeah, she made our friends go home really early and didn't feed us dinner until really late!

I've been jabbed