Delonte: Dude I skipped out on school yesterday and went home.
J-Kwon: aw that's tiight as shit.
Delonte: Nah, man. I walked through the door and saw my dad captaining the train of a lemon party.
J-Kwon: eww..what???
Delonte: it gets worse..my mom was there.
J-Kwon: Your mom is a MILF! IGARB!!
Delonte: Shut up man! She was filming it naked and playing with anal beads.
J-kwon: LMRBO!!!

After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.

Bethshnoz: I snuk into a confessional at church to give myself a creamcake, and the priest walked in.
Cornelious: Damn man that must of been akward.
Bethshnoz: No man it was quite enjoyable.
Cornelious: EWWW WTF!
Bethshnoz: LMRBO