Frick STI, condoms were invented to prevent kids.

"I would have finished if it wasnt for those medling kids!"

Suzie: we've been dating for a long time and I need to tell you something
Johnny: Please dont breakup up with me
Suzie: It's not that, geez...I'M PREGNANT, we'll have kids together!
Johnny:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Johnny's screams could be heard from Australia

I was doing this broad from behind and ended up shooting kids all over her back and hair.

Trippin Boy: Listen! my sperm is like too powerful for you so like it cant get you like pregnant ya know

Drunk Girl: MMMMMMKAYYYY!!!

(12 months, 2 kids, and 3 heart attacks later)

Not so drunk mom: hey super man wheres my welfare check?

Not so trippy boy: let me just go to krypton and..... PEACE!!

“Kids are weird creatures” ~ also Heidi

If all these kids dont stop runnin around my house, im going to rasise hell!