The extremely funny and stupid fictional character on the sitcom That '70s Show. Played by Ashton Kutcher.
Eric Forman: What kind of idiot leaves the keys in the ignition? Michael Kelso: Well if I put the keys in my pocket it distracts from my natural bulge GOSH!
by I don't care, I'm a punk March 31, 2010
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The guy-you-love-to-h8, the evil chief of medecine from Scrubs, the hit t.v show.
Bob Kelso: Nurse Espinoza have your boobs gotten bigger?
Carla: Dr.Kelso that is highly innaproppiate!
Turk: Sounds like a compliment to me.
(Dr.Cox and Dr.Kelso walk off)
Dr.Cox: I defintely think we got the idea of pregnancy in her head.
Dr.Kelso: Is that what we were doing? I was just making small talk.
by G400 May 23, 2008
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the act of Michael Kelso getting some ass on That 70's Show with any chick.
Kelso gave Formans sister the Kelso Beatdown in his van in the parking lot today.
by Marc and Jeffro April 1, 2008
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A soy boy. A bearded woosie brown noser.
'That Justin kelso' s a woosie. A self righteous SJW & a brown noser'
by Non Soyboy March 18, 2019
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When a man to cums inside a woman so she can wipe her goopy vagina along the kitchen floor and pretend she is a slug.
I was fucking this girl the other night without a condom, accidentally shot my load inside her and she went full dirty kelso.
by Mexcunt86 May 31, 2020
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A town next to the industrial town Longview in Southwest Washington state. Longview and Kelso are both part of Cowlitz County.

There is hardly anything complimentary to say about this town. There are rarely any fun events to attend. It is very uncultured, poor, dirty, and is definitely not showing any signs of improvement. The air stinks with pollution from the mills in Longview, an open slew of stagnant water and sewage winds throughout all of Kelso, most of the neighborhoods are rundown, and there is a high rate of drugs, crime, assault, STDs, and sex offenders/child molesters.

The majority of people that live in Kelso are very trashy. Most people start out in life with a teenage pregnancy or two, drop out of highschool, maybe get into drugs, catch an STD, and learn to scam the system and live off SSI, foodstamps, HUD, and etc. since they have no education or job and no ambition to get one.

In general, a Kelso person loves drama and has a pack mentality; a very bad combination that causes them to keep that highschool drama queen/king personality through adulthood of judging others, always believing they're right, and hating anyone who's different or seemingly better than they are........all with the support of their pack of friends.

However, there are some respectable people in Kelso of course; even if they're living situations make them appear like the rest.
Something that happened to me before I moved out of Kelso/Longview:

Kelso/Longview chick: Hey b*tch! I don't like you! Don't look at me like that! I'll kick you're ass!

Me: Errr.....what? Who are you? I don't think I remember you.

Kelso/Longview chick: Shut up! You stay away from my man! He and my friends say you've been flirting with him and a bunch of other guys. He doesn't want your herpes you nasty ho! So back off!

Me: Ha Ha! What are you talking about? I only chatted with him for a couple minutes at the party and I am not a prostitute with herpes. You and your friends need to get your facts straight.

*I walk away shaking my head*

Kelso/Longview chick: Blah blah.....that's right you better run away!.....blah blah......I'll kick your ass........blah blah.

*I continue walking* Damn....I'm moving lout of Kelso, Washington and back to Olympia, Washington.
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