To have intercourse with a man, covered in kelp, to create the illusion of being a kelp monster. Whenever the girl attempts to scream or moan, the man slaps her with his kelp hands.
Mike was kelping Chelsea on Saturday. He kelped her up, down, sideways, all across town and back.
by Bronos July 30, 2015
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Joe: That movie was amazing!

Sam: Sure, if you've got a map of it.

Joe: But the kelp is really green this year.

Sam: I like barbecue.

...and the conversation continues like this until someone screams or the world explodes.
by Jack the fridge monkey July 05, 2010
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Used in place of cool, chill, ok, etc.

Does 6:30 sound good to meet up?
Yah, kelp.
by B Fair May 11, 2008
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A guy who is whipped, and sucks up to you just to get some.
Also who uses excessive smiley faces, and when he wants to hang out claims he's busy and will "stop by."
Guy: Yeah girl I love chick flicks, we can watch them whenever :) :) :)
Girl: You are seriously such a kelp.
by madiara February 08, 2010
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Low grade Marijuana that is stringy and inexplicably moist like someone sprinkled water on it.
Hey that bag of kelp you sold me didn't even get me high.
by jerkschicken June 28, 2010
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