a member of the people and cultural community whose traditional religion is Judaism and who trace their origins through the ancient Hebrew people of Israel to Abraham and are called jews

Any best friend is a Jew

Joe: Did you see Patrick the other day ?
Mike: You talking about the Jew?
Joe: yeah
Mike: I heard he went camping with some guys in white robes.
Joe: Shiiiiet

Mike: What?
Joe: That's the KKK
Mike: R.I.P Patrick.

People who practice Judaism should be called Judaists(after all that was the original term for someone who practiced Judaism), not Jews because almost half of Israel's Jewish population is secular(non-religous). But they still consider themselves Jewish because Jews are an ethnic group, not a RELIGIOUS GROUP.

Johnnys Girlfriend Dee is a Jew

Hey Anthony, you're a Jew, do you celebrate haunaka?
Have you seen Anthony's yamaca?

“Hi”
“Hi, what’re you doing this Christmas”
“I’m a Jew”
“Oh you are? Do you believe in God?”
YES OF COURSE JEWS BELIEVE IN GOD THEY INVENTED GOD IN THE FIRST PLACE