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a hairy homeless midget who never showers. It lives under bridges, it's diet consists of toothpaste & waffles. Very vicious and does not make a good pet.
Girl: I had a pet Jared once, i had to get rid of it though.
Boy: Why?
Girl: It smelled horrible and ate all my toothpaste. Then it tried to bite me.
Boy: You poor thing...
by A Very Amazing Person. (: December 19, 2010
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58
the act of messing with or fucking up someone's Myspace/Facebook/etc. profile without their permission. You can jared someone's profile by adding lame interests, changing their default picture to David Hasselhoff, or changing their 'about me' section to reflect a homosexual lifestyle.
Example of jared :

"I'm sick of getting my profile jared-ed every time I forget to sign out!"

"I spent four hours last night jared-ing her profile."
by Larongitis December 07, 2008
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59
To completely kill everyone in the room's buzz by being totally negative and against everyone else.
Wow, that Jared completely ruined the party.

No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared

Bald Headed FUCK!
by buttsexman1234 February 04, 2010
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60
a person lacking directional skills. jared's commonly lose in fights with their girlfriends because she is clearly stronger. but its alright that he is weak because they are extremely cute and perfect boyfriends =
make your own examples to fit your own jared.
by c.elle<3 December 23, 2008
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61
The flap of skin that connects your balls to your penis. Not to be mistaken for a gooch, which is the skin between your balls and your asshole.
"Ahh, that feels so good, Don't forget the Jared Baby."
by The Jared December 26, 2008
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62
To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual.

Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.
"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire.

You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?
by RobinAmerica July 07, 2009
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