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To fail despite certain success, usually with respect to seducing the opposite sex.
"I was going to totally get with this girl blud, but then i totes Jon'd it!"
"Mate that girl is so in to you, don't Jon it up"
Mark was going to have "enthusiastic cuddleling" with Sarah until he called her Cindy and Jon'd it up.
by MaxPowerPhysicist October 22, 2012
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A king size joint roll to be enjoyed during a long session as a personal or in a party.
Yo, I'm bout to roll a jon in dis bitch.
its been a minute since i blazed a jon son.
by BlazeJonson November 27, 2011
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16
A big cuddly panda bear type animal originally from malaysia but often seen habitating in the deep regions of 'wales'. enjoys nothing more than; fancy ties, telling people about his fancy ties, being angry and loving all things welsh.
that jons looks so hugable, i would give him hugs more often if he wasn't so angry and hugging other welshies.
by AliDawe September 06, 2006
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17
A faggot that steals everyones food
Mom: a made a pizza!

*jon eats it all*
by Motherfing true August 16, 2013
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A Jon is a person with great levels of responsibility. Jons are name dropped daily when people want to sound important or knowledgeable. If you know a Jon, consider yourself blessed.

Jons are bosses of all the bosses. They don’t f*ck around. Jons are probably best known for their informative, lengthy emails. Jon emails remind people how to do their jobs. The best part of a Jon email is the ending because Jons often try to make these funny. Jon worshippers will read the final paragraph of a Jon email and smile or laugh before they set out doing ‘Jons work’ for the day.

Strengths: Jons make everyone feel listened to and important. Jons like to bring people together for the greater good. Jons fight for the vulnerable or disadvantaged. Jons are not afraid to row with people when necessary. Jons can wing a PowerPoint zoom like an absolute pro.

Weaknesses: Jons have a terrible sense of humour. They like dad jokes and toilet humour and will persist with a bad joke even if nobody laughs.

Warnings: Jons have a penchant for brutally bringing people down when the need arises. Don’t piss a Jon off, you may well live to regret it. Jons can be savage, unforgiving and moody.
“Oh my daiz! Did you see today’s Jon email?! He is so funny! His emails are the light of my life and I simply cannot function without them. I particularly love it when he posts dud links on purpose! His comedy genius knows no bounds!”

“Yea I saw it but I just skipped to the JonJoke at the end like I always do. Did he have anything important to say? I’d better go back and read it again or he might get moody”
by SoSuaveNobody March 25, 2021
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The Word Jon pronounced Jon is typically a gay man that is sexually attracted to obese hairy women and will never succeed in life.
Oh look it’s Jon wacking his dick to lizzo
by JonIsGay69 December 03, 2020
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(used mostly in massachusetts) the squad's word for alcohol, alcoholic drinks (jons), drinking (jonning), or to be drunk.
the party was crazy last night, i was so jon!
by squad member June 07, 2006
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