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Enflamed and enraged hemorrhoids that are itching worse than a case of chicken pox. Rendering the person in a miserable, squirming state longing for relief from a medicated pad or salve.
Carl's job as a trucker often rendered him on the long hauls with a case of itchy barnacles. He frequently had to make stops along the way for a little rectal ointment to smooth the fire.
by Eaton Holgoode October 19, 2015