Ashton Irwin is in a band called 5 Seconds of Summer. He is the sex god of drumming. He is Austrailian. His smile makes you stop breathing. He is the sexiest man alive and is basically living sex.
by 5SecondsOfMashton May 31, 2013
Ashton Irwin is a sexy drummer from a smokin hot band called 5 Seconds Of Summer. He always wears tops which reveal his muscular dummer arms and sometimes these tops make him have a nip slip but its okay because its Ashton. He also has these oh so cute dimples which make you wanna puke. He has sexy messy curls on his head what make me wanna puncture my heart.
All in all he is a sexy piece of ass whos mating call is jigglypuff.
All in all he is a sexy piece of ass whos mating call is jigglypuff.
"Do you know Ashton Irwin?"
"Oh yeah, he plays in that band right? I want him to bang me like he bangs them drums."
"Jigglypuff"
"Oh yeah, he plays in that band right? I want him to bang me like he bangs them drums."
"Jigglypuff"
by Ashtons Wife June 16, 2013
A badass naturalist who died doing what he loves to do, which is educate people about animals. It's very unfortunate that he died, especially by a freak accident with a sting ray. He owned animal planet.
by K_wtf September 5, 2006
Someone who can't count, can't pay attention and thinks iPhones are for high class citizens. Someone who lies on their taxes and receives food stamps. Overall a scam artist/ mathematician. A horrible gift giver who often gives pasta for Valentines day.
Friend 1: I saw you lie on your taxes.
Friend 2: Man, I ain't no John Irwin!
Friend 1:What is 2x4?
Friend 2: 24
Friend 1: Real John Irwin aren't you?
Friend 1: I wish my Samsung would turn on.
Friend 2: Sure is a shame you got stuck with that peasant shit. iPhone are for only the high class citizens in America. #johnirwin
Boyfriend: I have a surprise for you, babe. It's not chocolate.
Girlfriend: Pasta?
Boyfriend: Yeah rep'n my original OG John Irwin.
Girlfriend: You know I don't eat carbs, right?
Friend 2: Man, I ain't no John Irwin!
Friend 1:What is 2x4?
Friend 2: 24
Friend 1: Real John Irwin aren't you?
Friend 1: I wish my Samsung would turn on.
Friend 2: Sure is a shame you got stuck with that peasant shit. iPhone are for only the high class citizens in America. #johnirwin
Boyfriend: I have a surprise for you, babe. It's not chocolate.
Girlfriend: Pasta?
Boyfriend: Yeah rep'n my original OG John Irwin.
Girlfriend: You know I don't eat carbs, right?
by Corncob February 9, 2014
by Vandalay September 4, 2006
A great man who loved all animals. Ran the Austrailia Zoo. Was often a controversial figure. Murdered by a less-than-innocent stingray on September 4th, 2006
by SimebXam September 4, 2006
Michael Clifford girl: awe, Michael is such a kitten
Luke Hemmings girl: awe, Luke is such a penguin
Calum Hood girl: awe, Calum is such a puppy
Ashton Irwin girl aka me: holy fuck, Ashton is such a daddy.
Luke Hemmings girl: awe, Luke is such a penguin
Calum Hood girl: awe, Calum is such a puppy
Ashton Irwin girl aka me: holy fuck, Ashton is such a daddy.
by broken boy meets broken girl October 1, 2017