A state that claims to be #1 in education, and even says so on the state quarter despite being completely average at best. According to the American Human Development Project (measureofamerica.org), Iowa is:

3rd in high school graduation rate
23rd in 4th Grade National Assessment of Educational Progress in Reading
28th in 8th Grade National Assessment of Educational Progress in Math
29th in High School grads enrolling for college
36th in obtaining Bachelor's Degrees
42nd in obtaining Graduate or Professional Degrees
26th in the cost of a 4 year degree
27th in overall education index

The top 5 are Massachusetts, Connecticut, Maryland, New Jersey and New Hampshire.

Since everything closes at 4 in Iowa, there is nothing to do in this ghostly state. People's idea of fun in this state is: drinking, cow tipping, possum kicking, flannel friday, tractor racing and counting how much corn they have in their backyard. Therefore, Iowa stands for:

I.O.W.A= Idiots Out Wandering Around

So boring, you will see 2 things most of the time you are there: corn, and nevermind just corn

Booring. Don't compare us to New York. We're the last to get anything. People think we're "quaint" like a traffic jam to us is 10 cars behind a tractor rolling down the highway! Dude...ok, I'm from Iowa...and *I* think that's pathetic!!! THAT'S WHY I LEFT!!!

The Cornfield of No Return, where children CAN run away and not starve, because they can live on bacon and corn. But they're just going to get raped by all the sex offenders, anyway.

home to inbreds, unintelligent people, ugly fat girls, and crack heads.
On the flipside, they provide me entertainment with their dramatic lives.

An early U.S. experiment in criminal reform and psychological treatment. In the 1800's, eastern U.S. states sent their most deranged and mentally incompetent criminals to a remote land reserve, later known as Iowa. Treatment officials tried various behavioral-modification techniques to reform and rehabilitate the deranged lunatics. Sadly, the program worked to no avail. Eventually, rampant inbreeding and subsequent off-the-charts retardation took over the population. Officials decided that the best course of action was to isolate the Iowans (Sioux for "criminally insane") from the rest of the U.S. population. Accordingly, the officials established social engineering programs and propaganda to trick the Iowans into believing that their state has relevance in order to keep them from leaving the state and polluting other, more hospitable U.S. states.