My cat: *scratches me*

Me: welp now it's time to eat icecream

"hey do you guys have any ice cream?"

One of my childhood friends told me that the earliest nightmare he could remember was that a giant spider crawled out from under his bed, shouted “Dinner time!” at him, and sprayed an endless jet of ice cream out of its rear into his mouth. He was probably telling pork pies, but I was so jealous anyway…

"Lets go for ice cream!"

"AWESOME YAY!

ice cream is not good 4 u

I ate ice cream

"omg Jesus is God's son"
"no, Icecream is"