Hug-jerk noun: 1. a form of over the pants handjob unseeable to anyone not involved in the hug! Perfect for family reunions, and baptisms.
2. Also a jerk who gives you a hug but it goes unreciprocated because he or she is punk bitch. Not to be confused with hung-jerk... like Cody Bustaloady

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.