You wouldn’t believe the things women say to me about my gigantic cock. As a matter of fact, I met this girl Renee on Saturday and as I dropped my trousers to unveil the Cadillac of dongs, she proceeded to tell me it was Horsedickulous! Completely taken aback by her comment, I asked if she was insulting me, to which she said no, your dick is so ridiculously big, it looks like it belongs on a horse. After delivering the Dong for what seemed to be an eternity, I bounced expecting to never see or hear from her again. I’ve ran across my fair share of women, but this Renee is a top of the line Horsedick Hound, and I’m a little worried she’s going to seriously injure me, or worse, cut off my meaty member and make a bronze replica. If you know a bodyguard for dongs, please contact me!

I'm hungover as a duck let's go get some grub