A hemijaw is a person (usually a female and a drama queen) who thinks of themselves 2 or more of the following:
1. Everyone likes me.
2. My shit is the most important thing in the world.
3. I don't hang with those retarded geeks. They're like SOOOOO nasty.
4. Is the Earth still flat?
5. Look at me! I have big titties!
Also to qualify as a hemijaw the person in question must have a normal speech rate of ohmyfuckinggodwhatthehellisshesaying?

A polite term for shoving a lubricated probe into the Earth's hole to release gas.