to hedge

to make sure that some weak person doesn't get his feelings hurt

-Do you know why Rebecca is so mad?
-I forgot to hedge when i was speaking to her, she feels violated now

by Xx_Minecraftledgend_xX September 21, 2018

Hedge Fuck

An attempt by a hedge fund to make the fuck on an ape, when in fact the ape is the one who does the fucks.

Did you remember that time that Marvin Crapital tried to do the rapes on those smooth brains, but woke up with a sore butthole? He really hedge fucked himself on that one.

by SmoovBrain April 15, 2021

hedge wizard

Conner Hyatt

Conner is a hedge wizard

by Hedge wizard 2.0 June 21, 2018

Hedging

For those that have fallen out with Banking, Hedging relates to rolling your poo up in toilet roll and putting it in a hedge where nobody will find it. You then return to pick it up before you get on a train and leave it under the chairs in first class where nobody will see it.

I've just sold my Hedging Media to Gary Lineker for a fortune for him to use against the Shat on Pitch Quantity Psychs.

by MichelleBlack314 August 15, 2023

Hedging

The act of rubbing ones head almost to comepletion

"I almost went over the hedge while getting the best hedging of my life last night"

by jelkinboy584 February 25, 2022

happiness hedge

When a fan places a wager against their favorite team in a game or other event. This causes a win/win situation for the fan. Either the fan’s favorite team wins or the fan win their bet.

James: I bet on the Nuggets to lose.

Jake: but aren’t you a fan of the Nuggets?

James: yes, but if they lose, I want to at least get paid.

Jake: ahh, the old happiness hedge

Kyle: true dat

by cupofjuice93 May 23, 2023

Hedge bottom

The bottom of a hedge.

“Oi Tony, your mum looks like a hedge bottom mate”

by Kgicusb February 28, 2019