A tiny oasis in southern New Jersey, considered a suburb of Philadelphia, and ironically nestled between Moorestown "the best place to live 2005" and Camden "the most dangerous city in America 2005." Nicknamed "Garnet Country" after the high school's mascot (what the fuck is a garnet anyway?), Haddon Heights is a stereotypical small town: welcoming, traditional, neighborly, gossip-filled, and occasionally inbred. However, Haddon Heights sets itself apart from all other towns in one aspect: though it may be little, Heights kids can party with the big boys... and tend to consume alcohol in amounts that put college spring-breakers to shame. Whether its a case in the woods, a keg at a house party, or a handle in the parking lot; its always a good time. And whether its a high school student, a middle-aged towny that still thinks like a high school student, or a pre-adolescent child already currupted by a high school student; the key to a true citizen's heart is with an ice cold Natty Light.

A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.

A joke of a town. Italian guidos run around screaming garnet country when in reality what is a garnet? The only reason they're slightly good at sports is they take in kids from lawnside. They also drink little to no beer!