Noun: A total embarrassment.

A goofenbocker is a person who excels in such traits as intoxicated flirtation with the waitress, over-competitiveness in non-competitive gaming, and an overall obliviousness to all actions. In summary, goofenbocker usually thinks, in his own head, that he is the coolerbocker. It is customary to elect a Goofenbocker of the day to the person who most exemplifies these characteristics.

Regional note: In New England and parts of Canada a goofenbocker is sometimes referred to as a goofenbacker.

Etymology: From the German phrase "Gesamte Verlegenheit Gūfenbaachūr"

Adj. Something that is expected to have a long lifespan by virtue of having existed for a long time, based on the lindy effect, named for the New York restaurant Lindy's, coined by Albert Goldman and popularized by Nassim Taleb.