Golden High School is the best school ever, extremely superior to its rival Wheat Ridge High School. Qualities include: Awesome students, awesome staff and fabulous sports teams. Students here always remember to be kind and most importantly, BEAT THE WHEAT!

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.

The most putrid high school known to man. Golden High School. Plain and simple. Located in Colorado, with their mascot (the demon) they suck at all things athletic, academic, and skill related....which is pretty much entirely what life is... in addition to the fact that they suck, they are all complete weed eaters, acid trippers, coke snorters and penis suckers. The one thing that sucks most about their athletics is their lacrosse. Having not even any players mentioned in the state newspaper, or given a scholarship to a seriously sick D1 east coast college, they simply do not, can not, and will not have any future in hoping to become good. The Wheat Ridge Lacrosse team has many standout players that continuously recieve offers from those beast colleges on the east coast known for their outstanding lacrosse. Bottom line, golden lacrosse will never be as good as Wheat Ridge Lacrosse. Wheat Ridge High School is, and always will be, better than golden at lacrosse and everything else that golden tries to be good at.