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Glass Bottom Steam Boat 

Neatly place a piece of saran wrap over your lovers chest. Take a shit on top of the saran wrap. Carefully pick up the saran wrap and have your lover lick the condensation off the bottom.
I wanna fucking give your mother a glass bottom steam boat.

Torpedoing the Glass-Bottom Steam Boat

While performing the act of defecating on the cellophane over your partner's mouth, a sudden tear accidentally forms and the log torpedoes into his/her mouth.
Tim could not foresee that by having bought the saran wrap at the Dollar Store would only lead to torpedoing the Glass- Bottom Steam Boat and ending a perfect night of love.