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In the world of born-again Christianity, a get-out-of-hell-free-card is a lame excuse an evangelical will use to justify or sugarcoat their shortcomings in order to keep up the illusion that they are still morally, intellectually and consciously superior to all the non-believing secularists. Oftentimes these lame excuses come in the form of Bible verses or paraphrased Bible quotes, but sometimes they will just comletely make shit up. One of the most popular get-out-of-hell-free-cards is the saying: "We err because we're human, but we constantly strive to be perfect like Jesus in every way." A more crazy rationalization for bad behavior is the accusation, "How can any of us mortals truly expect to comprehend the wisdom of God, which is so mighty that even the greatest of us stumble over His ignorance?"
Linda: Teens should wait until they're married before having sex.
Greg: At what age did you lose your virginity?
Linda: If you must know, I was 12. But that doesn't make it okay. We err because we're human, but being a Christian means that we constantly strive to be like Jesus in every way. Just because I sinned doesn't mean you have to also.
Greg: Wow, it sounds like she just used her get out of hell free card.
- - -
Bob: Woah, Georgie. You totally missed that grazing buck with your AK-47 and just killed that entire wedding party!
Georgie: How can any of us mortals truly expect to comprehend the wisdom of God, which is so mighty that even the greatest of us stumble over His ignorance?
Bob: Uh, yeah. I think your get out of hell free card is expired.
Greg: At what age did you lose your virginity?
Linda: If you must know, I was 12. But that doesn't make it okay. We err because we're human, but being a Christian means that we constantly strive to be like Jesus in every way. Just because I sinned doesn't mean you have to also.
Greg: Wow, it sounds like she just used her get out of hell free card.
- - -
Bob: Woah, Georgie. You totally missed that grazing buck with your AK-47 and just killed that entire wedding party!
Georgie: How can any of us mortals truly expect to comprehend the wisdom of God, which is so mighty that even the greatest of us stumble over His ignorance?
Bob: Uh, yeah. I think your get out of hell free card is expired.
by Tim Gay July 31, 2009
Apr 27 Word of the Day
A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011
2
The "Get Out of Hell Free" card is a commercial parody of the MONOPOLY "Get Out of Jail Free" card, created by a columnist after a reader told him he "was going to hell" for a story he wrote. Well over 1 million of the cards have been sold since its inception. "Get Out of Hell Free" is a federally registered trademark.
The waitress was being harassed by customers, so I gave her a Get Out of Hell Free card. Really made her day!
by GOOHFy September 23, 2009