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(1) A really bad turn of events. In addition to the established 'Fuck me' which denotes a bad turn of events, 'Fuck me Jesus' emphasizes a greater deal of anguish and bad luck, some would say on a biblical level. The beginnings of a holy shitfest.

(2) A girl making love to someone named JesΓΊs (Spanish) and can't get over the fact that his name in English is Jesus.
Dude 1: "Hey, are we OK with the math exam? Does someone know we had a copy beforehand?"

Dude 2: "You are fucking kidding me, right?! Didn't you hear they caught us on the security cameras sneaking into the teacher's room."

Dude 1: "Oh! Damn! Fuck me Jesus!"
by maxi215 September 07, 2012
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Jul 5 Word of the Day
"I'll be back from vacation soon. How are my fish doing?"
"Yeah, about that... πŸ˜…"

"He went to choke the chicken..."
"But that's animal abuse! How are you guys okay with this?!"
"I don't think that's what he meant by that πŸ˜…"
by wasabiMP July 08, 2016
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