The check was obviously a forgery, so I shoved it into the offender's mouth.

jack:dude,that guy is such a noob,he just does forgery all day and dosent even verse anybody on them

ben:you got that right man,he sucks

me: dude I totally committed forgery at the supermarket I stole 3 candybars and a soda just like you did

friend: it was complimentary